Friday, December 30, 2022

CC: Please, Sir, I Want Some More

It needs to stop.
2022 Topps Tier One #PPA-CS Prime Performers AUTO (34/99)

It's on-card, it's pretty, and there's absolutely no information on the back.  No stats, no blurb about 2008.  Give me something new if you're going to keep making cards, Topps, or just leave Milwaukee Sabathias out of the whole deal.
I mean, there's got to be a photo of him eating a bratwurst or something, right?  That's a card I'd welcome to the collection.

Trade Me Anything XVI: #3

Now that Christmas (and Card-vent) are over, we can now return to our regular scheduled program.  There is a steadily growing pile of unopened trade packages, the one at the top coming from Kerry.  Let's check it out.
#MLM-PGD Paul Goldschmidt Major League Material, #US311 Bob Gibson SP

2022 Panini Prizm #LI-7 Christian Yelich Lumber Inc.
It's crazy how much this guy has fallen off.  There were time in 2018 and 2019 when I thought to myself, Yelich could be the greatest Brewer of all time.  He's doing things that only Robin Yount did."  Have no fear, Mr. Yount, your status as #1 Brewer is still safe for at least a generation.
2020 Topps #TPM-KH Keston Hiura Commemorative Player Medallion (072/199)
This is the heaviest Brewer card I have ever held.  Imagine all 199 of these stacked together, you could barricade a door with them simply by setting them on the ground.  Thick, dense stuff.

2018 Topps #PWP-ET Eric Thames Players Weekend Logo Patch
I will always remember Thames's time with the Brewers by his 2017 quote.  When asked about the inordinate amount of drug testing he had undergone, he responded in part with, "I have a lot of blood and urine."  Just a bold reaction letting everyone know he wasn't worried because he wasn't on anything.

Some 2020 Topps Brewers Pitchers

Excellent trade as usual, Kerry!  Though it hurts to lose the Gibson, I hope you enjoy your cards.

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Merry Lynchmas!

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round them: and they were sore afraid.

Saturday, December 24, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 24

December 24, 2022:
2000 Fleer Autographics Unnumbered Roosevelt Brown AUTO
So many flourishes along with a nice, tight squiggle.  Can you imagine this autograph confined within the parameters of a sticker?  It would be an outrage.  Exhibit A demonstrating why on-card signatures are always preferred.  Not a great player, but a spectacular autograph.

 Have a great Christmas Eve, everyone!

Friday, December 23, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 23

December 23, 2022:
2018 Topps WWE #PC-1 Brie Bella / Daniel Bryan Power Couples
One word:


I read the dude's autobiography, and I still can't figure it out.

Thursday, December 22, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 22

December 22, 2022:
2019 National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Card Scramble #2 Aunt Bethany
Ellen: Oh, Aunt Bethany, you know, you shouldn't have done that.

Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind?
Uncle Louis: Jeeeezus, did the room clear out, Bethany?  Hell no, she means presents, you shouldn't've brought presents. 
Nothing I write could top that, so that's it for tonight's post.

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 21

December 21, 2022:
2018 Topps #ASP-RY Robin Yount All-Star "Patch" Black Parallel (17/99)
Fun Fact: Yount only made three All-Star Games during his career, just one more than the number of MVP awards he earned.  Here's an article that does a good job explaining this oddity.

The, well, THING on the front of this card certainly would never be called a patch outside the context of a baseball card.  It's made of hard plastic and looks like a puffy sticker from the '80s, minus the puff.  And through the happenstance of the 1980 All-Star Game host, I now have several Yount cards with the Dodgers' logo on them, even though Yount never played an actual game against the team.  Take the "patch" away, and this card would see a tenfold aesthetic improvement.

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 20

December 20, 2022:
2002-03 Fleer Rookie Authentix #134 Juan Dixon (0343/1250)
Welcome to the NBA, kid.  You'll get your minutes soon enough.  All management asks now is that you allow your teammate Michael Jordan to breathe deeply near your abdomen approximately 30 minutes before each game tips off.  Your essence will keep him youthful and spry.

Monday, December 19, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 19

December 19, 2022:
1966 Topps #156 DP Combo - Dick Schofield / Hal Lanier
Yeah, those two dudes look like the type who would DP somebody.  I can imagine the poor victim, getting caught in no-man's land, left with no choice but to submit.  You could definitely get tagged, should the situation call for it.  Hard, too.  Lanier never really had the reputation as one to be gentle, if I'm recalling my history right.

And Dick?  Yessiree, as the one who would typically get things started, he'd often be the gentleman with two options in front of him.  Hal would just have to follow Dick's lead, react to his decision, get the force, and then finish.  Whether high or low, Hal didn't really have a preference, so long as he was involved.  Such is the nature of a timely DP.

Now, bear with me here.  You might not believe it, but there have been rumors that Schofield and Lanier were, on rare occasions, privy to a TP.  The circumstances have to be just right, but a TP is a distinct possibility.  Dick and Hal would never be the ones to begin a TP, but by gum, you had better believe that they'd be the ones to see it through to its end.  Sure, someone will likely be feeling regret in the aftermath, maybe even a little soreness, but that doesn't make it any less a thing of beauty.

Just remember: Even the sloppiest DP can be bailed out by the smooth hand of one... Willie McCovey.

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Trade Me Anything XVI: #2

Sorry to those of you who sent me anything.  TMA butted right up against the Card-vent Calendar this year, and things got busy.  Hopefully I can get back to some sort of reasonable schedule soon.
Jon, I know you sent this before the turkey was carved.  Thanks for your patience.

#US156 Tim Locastro Green Foil (298/499), #US298 Nick Lodolo Rainbow Foil

A greeting card with a nice message inside containing more alliteration than any piece of writing ever
Color Me Badd CD
There was a time in middle school when I thought I wanted this CD (tape?) because there were other kids in my class who liked it, but thankfully I spend my money on baseball cards instead.
2018 Topps Gallery Opened Pack
"My God, it's full of Bips." (link)
A bunch of cards from my want list
Always appreciated.
Some cool postcards
This is the kind of thing I would post on the walls of my classroom to see if anyone would notice.  The problem is that I have to take everything down at the start of each summer for the room to get cleaned.
Fleer Helmet Stickers (Chargers, Cardinals)
Lots of these cards were held together by a Connective Tissue of 1991 Fleer Cards, likely for the sake of package stability.
And finally, some DVDs.
First up: The Horse Whisperer 
I've never seen this one.  It will go on the to-watch pile.
The Sting
I have certainly seen this one, but since it's a full-screen copy, I'm putting it in the summer garage sale pile.
Breaking Away
Ooooohhh, already have this one in the collection.  An all-time classic.  No Robert Redford, though.
However, the spine of the insert on my copy is much more faded.  I'm going to do a little swap and put the paper insert into my case.  Perfect.

Thanks for a great package of stuff, Jon!  My assignment for you is to make your own cheap CUTTERS T-shirt and go as one of the gang next Halloween.  It's an easy costume that will earn cred points from those in the know.

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 18

December 18, 2022:
2014 Panini World Cup Prizm Matchups #19 Cristiano Ronaldo / Lionel Messi
That settles it.

The GOAT is on this card, and the whole world knows who it is.

Saturday, December 17, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 17

December 17, 2022:
1982 Topps Stickers #150 Billy Sims All-Pro
I'm from the generation where the #20 in a Lions jersey means someone else, but I'm not too young to lack any memories of Billy Sims.  Here's my main remembrance of the playing career of the great Billy Sims.

It all goes back to a weekly sports segment on the 10:00 news broadcast by the local ABC affiliate, channel 12.  When I was in my formative sports years, the sports anchor was a younger, slightly chubby guy named Kevin Hunt.  One of the highlights of the week, if I was allowed to stay up late, was a segment called "Kevin Hunt's Sunday Funnies."  It would be a minute or two of bloopers or otherwise fascinating moments from the week in sports.  Well, one week they must have been doing a year-end spectacular, where the station gave Hunt like ten minutes to run the best bloopers.  It just so happened that my parents taped this on VHS.  For years, I could watch the mega-episode of "Sunday Funnies" whenever I wanted.  I believe it was at the tail end of a cassette with like an Ewok movie or something on it, but I definitely watched that segment more than whatever movie was on the tape.

The Billy Sims moment comes during the big run of bloopers.  If I'm remembering it correctly, there was a clip of Sims getting tackled or run out of bounds on a run, and he was extremely disappointed that he didn't gain more yardage.  Sims becomes so upset, in fact, that he goes up to the team water table where there are dozens and dozens of cups of water and Gatorade that have been set up, and he takes a huge swipe at the table, knocking everything to the ground.  Just a great clip.

Now I might be reaching here, but there's another memory from this same segment where I believe it's Sims again, and he's running close to the sideline and gets pushed out of bounds again, but this time there's a careless official's assistant who is carrying the first down marker PARALLEL TO THE GROUND about waist-high.  At the end of the run, a decelerating Sims takes the yard marker pole right to the stomach.  I don't believe there was serious injury, but it certainly looked bad.

I believe that my parents might still have this tape in their basement.  I'll be sure to do some digging on Christmas day when I'm over there, and hopefully I can verify and share these Billy Sims clips with you faithful readers.
By the way, it looks like Kevin Hunt is still working in the sports broadcasting world.  He switched to the NBC affiliate in Milwaukee after his channel 12 years, and then in the mid-1990s (?) he was hired at an Arizona station, where he still appears to live now.  He was certainly missed here in town.  His approach to sports was carefree and slightly irreverent without being annoying.

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 16

December 16, 2022:
1991 Upper Deck #271 Bip Roberts
This is, by any objective measure, a nice Bip Roberts card.  Nothing special, no sombrero or anything like that, just a hard-nosed player in the middle of an aggressive slide into third base.
Until you flip the card over.
There's something not quite right about the hologram on this Bip.  It appears that the holo pattern used for this card was from a set that preceded 1991 UD Baseball by a few months, 1990-1991 Upper Deck Hockey.  Yes, we are certainly looking at a Bip error.  The man whose name became synonymous with poorly collated cards within a single pack has a pretty neat error card.
For the sake of comparison, here is the hologram from the standard version of this card.
Yup, just the Upper Deck wording without the "90" anywhere to be found.
Just don't forget to switch the roll of foil when you're printing a new product, boys.

Friday, December 16, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 15

December 15, 2022:
1979 Topps #173 Dave Beverly
Feeling the squeeze there, Dave?
Sorry, punters get child-sized replica helmets from the Lambeau gift shop.  If this was still the '60s, things would be different, kid, but these are some lean years for the Pack.  You get what you get.

Thursday, December 15, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 14

December 14, 2022:
2020-21 Panini Donruss Basketball All-Time League Leaders #6 Bill Russell
It's very respectful of this year's calendar to honor Mr. Russell, who passed away less than five months ago.  Debating eras is difficult in basketball, but rest assured that Russell's name belongs among those of the greatest to ever play the game.

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 13

December 13, 2022:
1996 Pinnacle Summit Ballparks #15 Paul Wilson (4299/8000)
-"Hey, Paul."

-"Your new baseball card came out."
-"Oh yeah?  Niiiiiice."
-"Yeah.  It looks like you're taking a dump on it."
-"Really?  Niiiiiice."
-"Yeah.  You're taking a dump right into Shea Stadium."
-"Oh yeah?"

-"What part?"

Monday, December 12, 2022

2022 Card-vent Calendar: December 12

December 12, 2022:
1993 Dynamic The Creators Universe #059 Phaedra
There's not a lot to go on with regard to Phaedra here.  She's a creation of well-known comic artist Walt Simonson, possibly as part of his Star Slammers universe.  She's quintessentially 1990s in ways I don't need to describe.  It's hard to tell by looking, but she's exactly four feet tall ("although exquisitely proportioned," reads the copy).  Yeah, even the comic book trading cards were extra horny back then.

For more (unrelated) Phaedra contect, check out this link to Lee Hazlewood's "Some Velvet Morning."  The song contains several mentions of a mysterious woman of the same name, whose persona in the song is played by Nancy Sinatra.  Just a cool song.