From the Archives: A 1982 Topps Melodrama

 Spring Training, somewhere in Arizona, 1981:

 

Hey Billy...

What, man?

Last night I had a date with Sally Owchinko.  Things went well.  I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

Man, don't bother me with that sheeyit.

What are you two guys talking about?

Sally Owchinko.

Yeah.  I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

I hear it, but I don't believe it.

Yeah, it really happened.  I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

What's going on over there, Bob?  They look like they're talking about something of interest.

I don't like the looks of it.  You know how Jon gets.

Let's go over there anyway, check it out.

So I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

Told you.

So let me get this straight.  You said you were giving it to her.  How, exactly, did that play out?

Let me show you.  I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

Oooh.

No, I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

Oooooh?

No, Ooooooooooooh.

Ooooooooooooh.

You got it, m' man.

I think I know the girl y'all's talkin' about.

Did you give it to her, like this?  Ooooooooooooh.

You betcha.  Yup, that's her alright.

Please describe her hair to me.  In detail.

I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

Pretty nice day out here today, fellas.  Ought to be a good game today, between two quality teams.  Best of luck.

By the way, what are you all talking about?

 

Sally Owchinko.  I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

 That's a lie mister.

Ooooooooooooh.

A damn lie.

I was givin' it to her, like this.  Ooooooooooooh.

This ain't over.

Golly, I feel all sorts of tingly inside.

 

Fin.