December 5, 2024:
1989 Topps #417 Mike LaCoss
Mike here is showing off his grip for the split-fingered fastball. This isn't something a pitcher would normally do, seeing as he'd probably be more successful hiding what pitch was coming next. However, what Mike's doing isn't tipping his pitch, he's actually inventing a new obscene gesture. The Splitter means something ten times worse than the middle finger. It insults generations of ancestors, male and female alike, including insinuations about their general lack of hygiene, socioeconomic status, and low level of intelligence. The gesture also carries with it the connotation involving the deleterious effects said relatives' decomposing bodies are having on the ecological makeup of their respective final resting places. And finally, the signal communicates a curse upon any and all future offspring of the gesture's recipient. If you give someone the Splitter, you mean business, and you can never, ever take it back. The world has actually been a better place for it not to have spread widely these last 35 years. The Splitter carries powerful sentiment, and should not be wielded lightly. You have been warned.
He knew his card would go to the commons box if he didn't do something interesting to spice it up.
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